Oubaitori, the Japanese way to improve your mental health in five steps

Spring is a special time in Japan. Cherry, plum, peach, and apricot blossoms—in shades of pink, purple, red, and white—bring color to Japanese landscapes. Four trees coexist, but they have their own shape, arrangement and their own moments of flowering. And that, for the Japanese, Each flower has its own beauty and cannot be compared to each other.

In fact, there is a Japanese principle that describes this: Obitori. The word is spelled strictly as a combination of the four letters Kanji (Chinese alphabet used in Japanese) of these four trees: 桜梅桃李. This concept, especially considering that we live in a highly competitive society, can help us Remove the bad habit of comparing ourselves to others.

Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, used to say, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” A little or a lot, almost everything We tend to compare ourselves With our neighbor, friend, partner or relative. One of the problems with this is thatWe will always find someone more successful, skilled or attractive“, Indicates Psychologist Jessica Delgado.

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In a world addicted to social networks — on average, we spend about 145 minutes a day on it — the idealized life portrayed by images can often frustrate us. Or also read about the latest startup founder who became a billionaire at just 25 years old, while we have to work many years to pay for a house – other times, not even that.

Therefore, stopping comparing ourselves is an action we can take Improve our mental healthBecause doing so can bring us unhappiness, and in addition, we can go so far as to underestimate the achievements that we have been able to achieve in our lives.

how to apply

Concept Obitori It means a change in your life, an attempt to live fully and learn to take advantage of your strengths. And although it may sound easy, applying this idea in today’s day means making decisions in many aspects. here they are five steps to achieve it, According to Japanese translator Jake Hallows, who lived for many years in Hokkaido:

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1. Be kind to yourself. Perhaps the most important part of the concept of Obituri is self-esteem. Hallows explains that this means that instead of torturing ourselves with mistakes, we should look at how we can improve and grow in the future. It also means celebrating our achievements and successes, as this allows us to have more confidence in ourselves.
2. Be thankful for what you have. Making an effort to be grateful for what we have in our lives is a great habit, according to Hallows. Not only does it help us realize how good we are, but it also helps us stop comparing ourselves to others. One way to achieve this step is to write these things down in a journal.
3. Change the way you use social networks. If you think social networks may be doing you harm, you can try to unfollow certain accounts and reduce your circle to friends and family. “It can be a good way to create a positive online environment for you to enjoy,” says Hallows. If you are trying to reduce the time you use social networks, the possible solution suggested by the expert is to directly delete the mobile applications.
4. Understand that everyone has their own circumstances. People often share their successes, but they rarely show the hard work it took to get there. For this reason, Hallows explains, we must keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different. That is, each person develops at his own pace. “What might come naturally to you won’t come naturally to someone else, so don’t be disappointed when the opposite happens,” she says.
5. Get inspired by the success of others. Instead of lamenting the accomplishments of others, you can use them to inspire and develop yourself. Instead of letting negative comparisons take over, being able to say ‘If they do, so am I! “It’s a great skill.” With this, you will not only achieve a more positive mindset, but it will also allow you to develop a greater personality.